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Inevitable wandering,
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Friday, December 9, 2011
Feelings.

Time to let it go. I will let it go slowly. Hopefully it will be okay. This week is a terrible week for me. MST+NEWS. My mst results are surely gonna be shitty. I have no mood to study and it's all so freaking hard especially SH&S. But it's a good thing that it all ends today. I don't know how many times I have cried this week especially during the night and during shower time. And I can't seem to smile this week. It alls is just an act. That image is stuck to my mind. That image and that image just won't match. I think as long as I don't think about the two images I won't cry. Hopefully. Everything ends today. A new beginning, a new chapter of life. Time to move on and let go of everything. Let it all sink down slowly. I guess Jac won't want to see us this way right? Goodbye Jac. & I miss you Jac. )':
It's just a fake smile. I don't want my friends nor family to worry about me. I acted like it don't affect me but deep inside it's hurting so badly. I can see who truly care and who don't. It's just too obvious.
One more thing, I hate it when people use me as a second choice. Like when they have no friends and they will find you. pfft I don't need that. DON'T EVER TREAT ME AS A SECOND OPTION BECAUSE I WILL THROW YOU AWAY. Don't talk to me if I'm just a second option, I don't need it. Especially if it is someone that you are close to treat you as a second option. It's irritating. It's the feeling of you being a rag doll and people treat you whatever they want. They want you, they take you. They don't want you, they throw you away.
Anyway I'm just saying generally. Not targeted at a specific person. Just need to get this off my chest.

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To be loved by someone
It makes life shine.